True Colors

I have a favorite Psychic that I call once a year. Today he told me “you will heal from this illness, but you will not return to the person you used to be.” He is right. I know he was talking about my physical stamina and my ability to do certain tasks, but I look at it another way.

I am most definitely NOT the same person I used to be. Through this illness I have discovered just how strong I am. How much character I have. Okay, just how stubborn I am. I have always known I am strong, but being strong when life is a walk in the park doesn’t have the same oomph as when you are still strong after three years of physical and emotional agony. When every step hurts, but you choose to enjoy life in spite of your suffering. When you focus on the good things in life instead of being angry. When you mostly laugh instead of cry. Smile instead of wince.

I have also discovered that I have some of the best friends and family anyone could EVER ask for. I have already told you what I have seen in my husband each and every day. I have also seen unbelievable compassion and love from family and friends. I have forged new and stronger bonds with my stepbrother who has been so supportive and helpful, and been overwhelmed with appreciation as my Uncle and his wife show up with groceries to cook us meals and entertain Cooper while I rest. I can’t even begin to tell you what my Mom and Jim have done for us– for MONTHS they have come by weekly to cook meals, entertain Cooper, and help out in any way they can.

I am blessed to have family and friends who call daily to check on me and help out when they can– and who are understanding when I can’t spend time with them because I am too weak. I have always known I had wonderful friends and family, but this journey has made it abundantly clear.

I have also loosened my bonds with those friends and family members who weigh me down or aren’t genuine. Life is too short to expend energy on those people. Especially when your energy is low already.

So, my psychic is right. I will emerge on the other side of this illness a different person- with a clearer understanding of myself, stronger bonds with family and friends, and a life that is surrounded by wonderful people.

No, I am not thankful I am sick. But I am thankful for this unique experience that has shown me just how wonderful some people are, and how lucky I am to spend my life with them.