Watch Your Back

On our trip to Honduras we stopped at a beach. It was absolutely breathtaking. Dave and I were wearing shorts and t-shirts but had luckily packed our swimsuits. Once we saw this beach we knew we had to get in the beautiful crystal blue waters.

We walked up a narrow carved path to some public restrooms. It was hot and humid so I was looking forward to getting changed and getting cooled off. Once inside the bathroom I hung my backpack on the door hook and changed into my bikini. Just as I was about to walk out I decided to follow my mother’s advice and always use the facilities when given a chance (yes, I know I could have peed in the ocean, but that seems rude to the fish).

Now, guys, let me educate you about how girls use a public restroom. For generations moms have taught little girls how to properly prepare a public toilet for use. There are two different techniques. The first technique involves creating a makeshift basket weave pattern with your toilet paper, covering every square inch of the potty before you sit.

The other technique involves wadding up a handful of toilet paper into the size of a tennis ball and gently putting one ball of toilet paper under each thigh were your body comes into contact with the toilet as you sit.

Since it was so hot and stuffy in there, and because I wasn’t in the spider web building mode, I elected to go the second, more expeditious route.

When I was done I quickly used my foot to flush the toilet, washed my hands, and grabbed my back pack to leave. One quick look in the mirror told me I was looking cute.

I was prancing down the sidewalk in my little bikini without a care in the world. I was halfway back to the beach when I felt something on the back of my legs. Oh. My. God. Tell me it isn’t true.

Do I need to tell you what I saw when I turned my head in horror? That’s right. . . Two white toilet paper snowballs stuck to the back of my sweaty thighs. Not exactly the “must have” summer accessories I was looking for, but now I know why everyone was smiling at me.