Words as Gifts

There is a fear that grows when you are chronically ill. The fear that your husband or wife will leave.  Divorce you.

When I was at my lowest point in my illness, I remember being  afraid my husband would, one day, just walk out the door and never return.  I was afraid that one day it would be just too much for him to bear.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  He never said anything to that affect, and we very rarely even argued.  On the outside we had the perfect relationship.  But on the inside, things were very different.     He was emotionally stressed about me being so ill, always wanting to “fix me”, but never being able.  He was heartbroken watching my eighty-five pound frame unable to even lift my water glass.  We had no sex life. No time to connect.  On top of being my caregiver, he was also taking care of our three year old son, cooking most meals and keeping the house somewhat tidy and running properly.  He was the primary bread winner, while watching my medical bills mount.  He was literally at the brink of exhaustion.  Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.  Never mind that his own body was shutting down because he had a yet undiagnosed brain tumor.

I was already past the brink of exhaustion, and my fears mounted.  I knew it was a “perfect storm” for a divorce.  Our perfect divorce formula:  One chronically ill partner + one partner with a brain tumor + one completely dependant child + medical bills - a sex life = Divorce

What could I do about it?  I was already tapped out.  I couldn’t take any physical stress off him.  I certainly couldn’t heal overnight in order to lighten the emotional stress. We were screwed.

So I did all I could.  I regularly said, outloud, the kind things that I thought about him.  That he is a great father.  That he takes such good care of me.  That I admired him because he is such a good provider.

The power of words is amazing; it is free to speak them, it only takes a second, and it can last forever in another’s heart and mind.

And so my challenge to you is to say something kind and truthful to someone you love today.   Just a simple statement - one sentence.    Watch how it transforms their day.  And yours.  Witness a grin appear on your husband’s face, or see your precious child stand a bit taller because of your words. Give a gift of words today.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless”   ~ Mother Teresa