Parting Ways

Posted by Mimi on October 12th, 2009 filed in Adventure, Healing, Lyme, Rant, Rescue

I am stranded in the dark ocean.  I am barely treading water as the waves pummel me and storms blow me around like a child’s bath toy.  The water is cold and harsh and my body is exhausted with just trying to stay alive.  I am scared.  And tired of fighting.  I don’t think I can do this one more second.  I think of dying, saddened to think my son will grow up without a mom.  I think of my family and friends.

I didn’t think it would end like this.  I fear my last gulp of air.

Just then, a life preserver crashes over the next wave.  It is big and round and orange.  I struggle to put it around my waste.  After adjusting, I get some much needed rest.  My strength builds, and ever. so. slowly. the storm recedes.  Then the sun - and my hopes - rise up over the horizon.  I float along, still too exhausted to swim.  But, now I know I am not going to die from this.

Then I see it.  The beach head!  I start paddling frantically.  Finally!  My toes touch the sand beneath me and I slowly approach land, swishing in the water along the way.  I collapse on dry land and recharge for hours.  Days.  My body trembles slightly as I get up to walk.

The next part of my journey lies in front of me.

But now, the very thing that saved me from certain death is slowing me down.  It is heavy and burdensome.  My body tells me it is ready. To let it go.  I am scared to part with what saved my life.  But I know it isn’t doing me any good now.

Through tears, I thank the the life preserver and toss it back into the ocean.  I am grateful for it. . . for how it helped me rest and strengthen. . and where it brought me.  And now I send it back from where it came, praying that anyone who needs it will find it.

And now I walk without it.